I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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