woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
