I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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