Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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