Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
