just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
