She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
