My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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