Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
