okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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