Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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