Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
