Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
40s are totally the cure
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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