Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize