FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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