Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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