Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
