where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
