it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
