I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
