if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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