My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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