wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
