love makes seman taste better
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
birth control should be required to get into college
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
