the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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