I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's always time for handjobs
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
