Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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