is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
