he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
