Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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