I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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