i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
