It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
