I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
