i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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