I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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