worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
