in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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