are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
