I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You are a genius and a whore.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
