Apparently you make a good broom.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
