There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
