they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
