Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
