i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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