We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
