I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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