You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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