I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
