I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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