I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
