I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
