The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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