he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
