I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
