you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
